It's Time...

"If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it." - Anais Nin

It has been on my heart to write for a long time.  The very few people that I have shared my story with know my dream of writing a book (or books).  My friends have always told me that I have a way with words, a way with story telling that engages people.  If you've followed me on Twitter, you know I tell stories all the time. I love it.

My heart is in sharing my story, offering my life as encouragement, inspiration or just to give someone a reason to smile. But there's a large part of my past that I am deeply ashamed of.  Things that I've done that I'd like to forget about but I can't, because that part of my life has shaped SO much of who I am today, what I believe, how I think and who I am becoming.  And I know that part of my life will be used to touch so many other young people.  That part IS my story.  So I've been forced to face it.  But when I finally built up the courage to start a blog, my writing was so empty because I was afraid.  Afraid to get too personal and to share who I really am, afraid what other people would think of me... so I stopped.  I felt like I wasn't ready, like I hadn't redeemed myself enough from my shameful past to share it.  The plan was to be graduated from school, having already started working in youth outreach so I could say, "this is who I used to be, but look where I am now" and I'm not there yet.  But God has really been encouraging me to rejoice in my struggle.. that THESE are my glory days... these are the moments where I will find the most passion.  So here it is.

I am still anxious, still nervous but my sense of responsibility to fulfill my purpose has become greater than my fears.  I will get very personal, so much so that it may make me uncomfortable. My faith is a huge part of my life but I will be the first person to tell you that I am far from righteousness.  I am no longer ashamed of who I am.  I may detail my struggles with my past, spirituality, and relationships and I am VERY emotional and can be very dramatic at times but I love to laugh and joke as well.  I'm not perfect, none of us are and I offer to share with you my journey of growth through my thoughts, opinions and life experiences.

LOVE